Game Over (?)
What is it they say about journeys, and their various stopovers? That implication that as you progress towards your destination, it's not about the distance left to get there, but the distance that you've already covered. But most importantly, it's the distance you get from yourself. So you can, after a while, literally stand slightly away, offside, look back, and go "gee, that was someone else who started out, wasn't it?"
I think I am now that person, and because of my stopovers, some brief, some protracted, I think I've become a little more seasoned. I know when a barricade is staring me in the face. I also know the whole thing about it pulling back when you push against it, and then pushing forward when you don't expect it to.
I'm getting it now. From unexpected quarters. This is a very seductive stopover too. There're facilities, warmth, stimulating conversation, thought-provoking ideas.I want to be here, hopefully for a long time. The thing is, I’m a little too busy at the moment, with work, study, managing my mum, etc – to spare the time and energy to play this push and pull game. I’ve been there, done that.
But more than that – my last stopover (which is still stopping over, there doesn’t seem to be a clear departure in that sense at the moment) – came to me so easily. Dropped down from the sky, intact in kneeling position, with Persian poetry and proposals to book me in our next lives. I didn’t have to lift a finger. Perhaps that’s spoilt me.
But perhaps, too, as journeys go, you grow up a little. You respond better to fellow travellers who’ve been there, done that, who know what its all about. Who know that playing pull-push games are restricted to adolescent episodes and today's tweens desperately trying to come across all 'found'.
*sigh*.
I have come far. I have still further to go. I'm intrigued by this junction, but I'm also quite weary of it. So unless the barricade stops pretending and opens its arms and envelops the beautiful gift this can be, I really don't have the energy to play its game.
I think I am now that person, and because of my stopovers, some brief, some protracted, I think I've become a little more seasoned. I know when a barricade is staring me in the face. I also know the whole thing about it pulling back when you push against it, and then pushing forward when you don't expect it to.
I'm getting it now. From unexpected quarters. This is a very seductive stopover too. There're facilities, warmth, stimulating conversation, thought-provoking ideas.I want to be here, hopefully for a long time. The thing is, I’m a little too busy at the moment, with work, study, managing my mum, etc – to spare the time and energy to play this push and pull game. I’ve been there, done that.
But more than that – my last stopover (which is still stopping over, there doesn’t seem to be a clear departure in that sense at the moment) – came to me so easily. Dropped down from the sky, intact in kneeling position, with Persian poetry and proposals to book me in our next lives. I didn’t have to lift a finger. Perhaps that’s spoilt me.
But perhaps, too, as journeys go, you grow up a little. You respond better to fellow travellers who’ve been there, done that, who know what its all about. Who know that playing pull-push games are restricted to adolescent episodes and today's tweens desperately trying to come across all 'found'.
*sigh*.
I have come far. I have still further to go. I'm intrigued by this junction, but I'm also quite weary of it. So unless the barricade stops pretending and opens its arms and envelops the beautiful gift this can be, I really don't have the energy to play its game.
posted by Sreedhevi Iyer | 11:24 am
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